I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
