It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pants are for mortals
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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