I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i think im in europe. pls send help
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
