i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
