I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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