don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
