just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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