Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize