i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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