The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
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Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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