I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
