As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
