Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
