shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize