So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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