I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
