Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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