sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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