is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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