The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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