We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its about making memories worth repressing
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
