i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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