2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she looked like the before picture.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
