And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
