her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
