Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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