I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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