I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
