Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
