how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
