So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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