i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is that strawberry winking at me??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
