fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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