Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize