What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
