I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize