I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
NoShamevember. You game?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
