Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
