i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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