hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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