I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
