woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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