just tell him i said nine months
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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