every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
