oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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