Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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