I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
