u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
