My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
