I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
