God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
