I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
