There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize