Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
