Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
