I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize