glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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