Whod you bang
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
